Over and Over
by Silver-Pheonix74
Summary: So many thoughts I can't get out of my head. I tried to live without you, every time I do, I feel dead. I know what's best for me, but... I want you instead. KaiTaka, OoC, Kai's PoV.


**Warning(s):** Yaoi ( boyXboy ) for those yaoi haters. I guess that's it.

**Pairing(s):** KaiTaka ( Kai Hiwatari X Takao Kinomiya )

**Note(s):** This was a one-shot requested by _Takao-Kinomiya74_ on dA ( deviantART ). She suggested I write a fic based on Over and Over by_Three Days Grace_ ( yes, another dumb songfic ), and since she's a friend, I chose to write it for her. I only do writing requests for my _friends_ so don't expect this very much.

I'm new to writing Beyblade, so if anyone's OoC, then tell me. I'll try and be IC next time, alright? All I know is their english personalities, so if their japanese personalities are different, then tell me. All I know is Kai's personality. That's it. That's all.

I'm sorry if I got any spelling wrong. The only spelling corrections I have are google. So, it I made any mistakes, tell me.

Criticism is welcome.

I do not own Beyblade.

Enjoy! xD x3

**X-X-X-X  
Takao's PoV**

"_So many thoughts I can't get out of my head..._

_I tried to live without you, every time I do, I feel dead..._

_I know what's best for me, but... I want you instead..._"

**X-X-X-X**

"Takao! Takao, get over here!" Screamed a distant friend.

I turned to see my friend, Max, there. However, _he's_ also there. I shrugged, and walked up to them. I can't ignore my friend, but I could ignore _him_.

Once there, I looked at Max, "What's up?"

"Wanna go to a movie, Takao? Rei and Kai would be there." He said, grinning, "It took me a while to convince Kai though."

I winced, "No thanks, Max. I'm gonna be extra busy tonight. Grampa has me teaching the dojo today."

"Are you sure?" Max asked, looking concerned and sad at the same time.

I nodded, "I'm sure, Max. Sorry, dude."

I walked off, and once away, I felt my heart pounding. _He_ was actually there. I leaned against the wall once out of sight. I ran my hand through my hair. Oh darn it, and _He's_ going too. I mean, It could've been romantic, and uncomfortable. Why...? Why do I feel like this? I tried everything to get those thoughts out of my head, but every time... _He_ comes around. I avoid him, he chases after me. I tried getting him mad so he wouldn't talk to me, we end up '_making up_' later. Now, I'm gonna try to ignore _him_. I wonder how he's gonna take it... Although, he might get mad. I felt the tears start to come. I've been chasing after him for years and years now, and it repeats everyday. I tried everything to get these thoughts out of my head, and I tried getting him off me... However, it hurts, and it makes me want him more...

Yes. I'm hurt for a reason.

"_It's like everyday it stays the same. It's dragging me down, and I can't pull away..._"

Silence.

"What's wrong with you? You obviously lied to Max." Said a voice beside me.

I jumped and turned to the voice, "O-Oh! Well, I don't want to..."

"Don't want to what, Kinomiya?" He asked, glaring at me.

I sighed, "I don't want to go. I'd rather train at the dojo, really."

"Why?" He asked.

I ran my hand through my hair as thoughts of Kai and I at the movies crossed my mind. I'm sitting next to him, and... Kai... I'd wouldn't control myself. I shook my head to shake those thoughts, "I just don't want to, okay?"

He remained silent.

I turned to walk away, "Well, I'd better go. Talk to ya later, Kai."

"Kinomiya." He said, stopping me.

I looked at him, part of me remaining hopeful, but I can't keep my hopes up. I just can't... I stared, "... Yeah...?"

Silence.

I sighed, "What is it, Kai?"

"... Kinomiya... Will you go?" He asked.

I rose an eyebrow, "Are you...?"

Is he seriously asking me out to the movie? Well, to him we'd be hanging out as friends, but to me... Memories.

"No." He said, "I'm asking if... If you'd go somewhere else?"

He seriously sounds like he's asking me out. I couldn't feel more happier, but I just can't keep my hopes up. I then started to feel hurt.

Seeing the hurt, he stared, "... Kinomiya, what's the matter?"

"Uh..." I started, "... Kai. I'd still rather train at the dojo."

He remained silent, looking... Disappointed.

I turned to walk away again, "Sorry Kai."

I ran before he could stop me again, which he was about to do. I'd hate to feel hurt again, and pushing him also hurts also.

'_I feel it everyday, it's all the same. It brings me down but I'm no one to blame... I've tried everything to get away..._"

These thoughts. These hurt filling thoughts. It just hurts me everyday, and I've been trying to push them away.

It hurts. So much.

**X-X-X-X**

Kai barely tries to confront me, and barely tries to comfort me. He's my best friend, and I shouldn't have these thoughts about him. Here I am, training at the dojo. The art of swordsmanship. It's easy yet complicated at the same time. I've tried training to get him out of thought, but then _he_ comes to visit. Shit. I shouldn't be here, but then these... Distractions. I'm gonna fail today.

I looked around, "Grampa!?"

Damn. What's worse is that my grandpa is no where in sight. He might be taking a nap, or went to the store. I ran my hand through my hair, and sat down. My heart pounding, and not just because of the exercise too. Kai, why'd you have to visit today of all days? Can't he see I'm '_training_' here? I don't really know how to feel. I felt... Felt exhausted. I'm also so hungry. I didn't eat lunch today, or even taken a breather since before right now.

"Kinomiya." Kai said, glaring at me, "Why don't you take a break?"

I glared back, "I'd rather listen to Grampa, thank you. He tells me to keep training 'till he comes back."

"He'll understand. Come here." He said sternly, "Before you pass out exhaustion."

I scoffed, "Why would _you_ care? You don't give a shit if I died."

"You're right, but I need you for our bey team, and I don't want to deal with your friends. So, get over here." He said, still glaring at me.

I felt even more hurt to find out he didn't care about me. However, I pretended to be angry instead, "If you're gonna be like that, then no."

"Kinomiya." He hissed.

I crossed my arms, "No, Hiwatari, I'd rather train."

Silence.

He sighed, giving up, "Whatever. If you pass out, it's not my fault."

"Humph." I replied, and kept training.

However, before I could even start, my grandpa walked in, "Takao, you're all sweaty. Why don't you take a break for today?"

"Grampa! I don't want to!" I whined.

He rubbed his chin, "You look exhausted. Take a break for today."

I fell to my knees, feeling... Exhausted. Great, why does everyone have to be right? I feel so tired and hungry that I feel weak. Why didn't I sleep nor eat today? Damn it. I need to eat.

Kai walked up to me, "Now do you want to eat?"

"What!?" I asked, looking up. It's like he's reading my mind.

Kai crossed his arms, "Kinomiya..."

Silence.

He keeled down to my level, "You didn't eat today, nor did you sleep the night before. Kinomiya, I _know_ something is bothering you. You gotta tell me..."

Great, now he's gonna interagate me. I hate it when he does that to me. He always gets the answers out of me, and he knows when I'm lying. I felt the hurt coming now. Exhausted, I leaned onto him, not caring if he gets the wrong idea or not. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. He'd become more confused, and if possible, concerned. I'd hate to caused that, so I remained silent, and...

I fell asleep.

**X-X-X-X**

_Here I am. In complete darkness. I looked around, and I paused when I saw Kai there. He looked warm, and he held up a hand. I smiled, and I reached out to touch his hand, only for it to disappear before I could. I froze. No, no. Kai, where did he go...? I looked around._

_It's getting colder._

_"Kai!" I screamed, "Where are you!?"_

_I need his warmth. The warmth of the pheonix. I need his warmth, and I need his caring. Why does it feel so... C-Cold? I fell to my knees, feeling more and more colder by the minute. By that time, it started to snow. The setting became clear now. I'm somewhere where it snows all the time, and there is ice all over. The sun is completely missing, but the brightness of the snow gave off light. Why does the snow give off the light? It doesn't feel warm at all, and it's starting to make me numb._

_Numb. It's how I feel inside. I feel so cold that I feel numb. I need his warmth._

_..._

_I felt the tears, but they freeze once it comes, and I'm here... Here in this place. I'm completely frozen._

_I see him, but he's walking away. He's ignoring me._

_"I don't care." He said, "I never cared... Why should you be a waste of my time...? I hate you."_

_I sadly looked down. I can stand him not caring, but hating me to a point where he want me gone... Then why should I care?_

_I never felt the ice that started to build up._

_"Why should I care...?" I breathed, "Why should I even care about you!?"_

_I didn't feel it, but I could see it clearly. I'm so numb. So freakin' numb._

_"I never cared about you!" I yelled as I see a dot in a distance._

_Silence._

_I leaned down as the ice soon came up to half my body, "... Th-Then why do I feel so numb? Why do I even have these thoughts about you?"_

_I choked on a sob, "Why...? Why do I even feel this way about you? You don't even care about me, and you even hate me to a point that you want me gone? W-Why Kai? Why do you hate me so much? Am I **that** annoying?"_

_The ice was up to my shoulders now._

_"You don't understand, do you? You don't really understand just how much it hurts just to see you walk away everyday. Every time we separate, I feel like I don't want to. You don't realize just how much I truly care for you, Kai. You don't even realize... Just how much I care."_

_He's gone now. He's completely gone. The ice was now up to my head._

_"Kai..." I breathed, "... I just can't really live without you."_

_Soon... Soon, I was completely frozen._

_'Kai...'_

_"Kinomiya..."_

**X-X-X-X**

I cringed when I woke up slight. I... I fell asleep? Damn it. I thought I'd stay up a bit more. I mean, I wanted to keep my thoughts at bay so I don't have that dream again. I nuzzled the thing below me. For some reason, I actually feel warm.

"Kinomiya. You're awake." A voice said.

I froze. Silence.

I looked up to see Kai there. I hope I didn't murmur in my sleep. I'm such an idiot. Anything I said out loud is a hint to how I actually feel about him. I tried to sit up only to be pulled back down. He has me by the waist.

"If you feel scared, Kinomiya... You don't have to be..." He said, "... Stop crying now, and just lay with me."

H-Huh...? I wiped my eyes to see I was crying. Shit. Anything I said out loud, plus that... Wait, what did he say? I watched his eyes.

Silence.

I lie my head down, "Kai... Did I say anything out loud?"

He looked up, as if remembering. Damn it, I did say something. He sighed, "Why should I care? Why do you hate me? Why? That's all I could recall right now."

I sighed. It could be possible relief. However, from what he's implying, that isn't all. For now, we could drop it. I open my mouth to imply that when-

"-Kinomiya... Do you really care for me that much?" He asked.

I froze.

"Kinomiya. Answer my question." He softly said.

Silence.

"... Kai. I do. I just feel... Hurt. All the time because of it." I waited for a reply. Nothing, so I continued, "Kai. You just have no idea how much you actually hurt me because I do. I tried everything to get those stupid thoughts out of my head. I tried avoiding you, and you chase after me. I tried getting you mad enough so you wouldn't talk to me... We'd always make up later. I tried ignoring you, but I just can't." I nuzzled his chest, "I just can't ignore you. Kai, you're too... Special to me."

"Kinomiya." He breathed.

Silence.

"Your grandpa was worried. You literally passed out after he told you to stop." He said, "Why don't we go out together, and eat so we could get your energy up?"

I frowned, "I just confessed to you, and you passes it up like I said an everyday thing? Jerk."

"Heh." He said, smirking, "You're annoying. Isn't it obvious?"

I sighed, "I can see that... It's just hard to believe."

"Humph, I was gonna say, rather you're more dense then ever, or you really are an idiot." He said, still smirking.

I leaned onto him, "... Humph, jerk."

"Hn."

Silence.

I looked at him, "Lets go see Grampa then."

"Hn." He replied, and I got off him.

Once I convinced my grandpa ( which was very hard ) that I was alright, we decided to go out and eat. Just Kai and I alone. Almost like a date. I shouldn't even think this since it feels like it should be a sentimental and innocent day. I mean, I just confessed my feelings towards Kai, and he didn't give me a direct reply. I feel like he doesn't actually return the feelings. Although he doesn't openly... Open up. Kai's anti-social which was caused by growing up with his grandfather. I understand that, and I shouldn't push him. Although I do like to interagate him from time to time. He's fun to poke around sometimes, but we'd always make-up later. Although he remains mysterious, there is somethings I do understand about him.

I understand Kai, and yet I don't. He's a mystery man.

After we had something to eat, I looked at him, "... Kai?"

"Hmm?" He replied.

I fiddled a bit, "Do you... Are we dating now?"

"... You can say that, yes." He said, leaning back, "Of course, we can't get all touchy-feely."

I laughed, "I understand that. It's just that you didn't give me a direct answer earlier. I'd like to know _directly_ if we're dating or not. I really do care for you romantically, ya know."

"Kinomiya." He said, and remained silent for a bit.

Silence.

"Kinomiya." He started, "... I don't think I could tell you directly how I feel about you. You're special too, yes, but I don't exactly... Feel the same way romantically."

I felt a bit hurt, "I see... We cou-"

"-However, I'm willing to give you a try." He said, looking straight up, "... I can't say I return the feelings just yet... I can't say we're dating yet, but... I'm willing to give it a try."

Silence.

I was about to imply that we could stay best friends, I mean, I wouldn't care either way. Just Kai knowing how I feel and stays by me is just fine, but if he's willing to give it a try, then there's still a chance he might return my feelings.

...

I softly smiled, "I was about to imply that we'd stay best friends, but that's fine by me. I mean, I certainly do care for you either way... Sure. That sounds good enough."

"Whatever." He shrugged.

Silence again.

"Kinomiya...?"

"Hmm?"

"Does that mean you change your mind about the movie?"

**X-X-X-X  
End...**

* * *

**Okay, so Kai was a bit more OoC in this fic ( more talkative and curious ). However, I did mark this OoC, didn't I? Plus, I don't even like songfics, and yes, I'm a hypocrite for writing them, but hey... We all at least try something we don't like, right? If you don't like it, then please be polite about it in your review please. I may accept criticism, but flames are totally different then how they usually are. However, I do get amused easily by flames though. They're funny ( EG: U SUCK! !1111ONE11 ), and very immature. This shows how much I accept criticism, and how much I adore your thoughts on my fics.**

**Like it? Hate it? Tell me, I'd LOVE to know what you thought of this fic!**


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